The Beginning
by A00227253
Summary: Kristina and Ethan talk after their argument at the docs. Kristina has made a decision but will Ethan change her mind?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Kristina arrived home after arguing with Ethan at the docks. His words kept playing over and over in her head. _You're going to get me killed. _She had convinced herself that nothing would happen to him, she wouldn't let it. She had though Ethan was just in denial about his feelings for her. She was the one in denial. The last thing she would ever do was hurt Ethan or let him get hurt but it was naive to think she would be able to stop Sonny or Johnny. She sunk into the sofa taking a deep breath; her eyes began to fill with tears as it dawned on her that it wasn't going to happen. She and Ethan weren't going to happen.

Kristina froze as she noticed Ethan walking her way. She had been standing at the docs after class and had been lost in thought. It had been a week since they had argued on this very spot. She cleared her throat but was at a loss for words. Her heart ached at the thought of never being with him but she felt she was losing a friend. She didn't know what hurt more. She needed him more than she had ever needed anyone.

"Hi" Ethan spoke quietly and Kristina knew something had changed.

"Hi, I was just..I was going to head home." Kristina turned but Ethan touched her elbow gently to stop her.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you with everything I said before..About how you're always in danger and you should be more afraid. You were right; you can't live your life in fear." Ethan said.

Kristina nodded. "I know. But I have been reckless. I feel so stupid Ethan, all this time you have been selfless, you forgave me for lying about Kieffer, and you were there for me after the bomb went off at the wedding. The last thing I would ever want to do is put you in any danger and that is exactly what I've done. Anthony could come after you because of me." She felt the tears building in her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't want to cry in front of him.

"Hey.." he touched her arm gently " I was..I was just a bit frustrated okay. I can take care of myself. Okay?" he grinned and waited for her reply but Kristina could barely breathe. How was she supposed to be okay without him?

"You were right to be frustrated and worried and scared Ethan. You were right; it isn't worth either of us dying over. I am always going to want something more and I need to stop being in denial and finally accept that you don't feel the same way. That's what you've said and I didn't listen but..." Kristina froze as ethan placed his hand on her cheek. His eyes met hers and he leaned in close until his lips met hers. Her heart beat so heavily again her chest that it ached. His lips moved over hers slowly and Kristina felt time had come to a sudden halt. When Ethan stepped away again she stared at him with wide eyes and smiled.

"I knew it!" Kristina teased.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Kristina entered the haunted star and walked towards the bar. She hadn't been able to stop herself from coming. She hadn't heard from Ethan after he had kissed her on the docks and she started to fear he had left Port Charles or that something had happened to him. She let out a breath of relief when she noticed him reorganizing bottles at the bar.

"Ethan" Kristina said and he almost dropped the bottle he had been holding. Placing the bottle of whiskey down on the counter he ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Kristina, what are you doing here?" he said in a rough tone. Kristina frowned not understanding why he seemed aggravated.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I didn't hear from you since you left the docks and..." Kristina stopped as he walked past her.

"I appreciate the concern but as you can see I'm fine." Ethan said in a cold tone Kristina didn't recognize.

"You don't seem fine." Kristina said softly. "If you're angry with me tell me."

Ethan took a deep breath and felt the tension ease. "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at myself." He walked towards a table and sat down pulling out a chair for her. Kristina sat down slowly dreading the words she knew he was going to say.

"I gave into an impulse, in case you hadn't noticed we Spencers seem to have difficulty with that. I gave in and kissed you and I regret it." Ethan averted his gaze as he saw the hurt in Kristina's eyes but continued. "I regret it because it didn't mean what you want it to. We're not going to embark on some grand romance Kristina…"

"Okay Ethan. I get that I have come off strong and have been pushing you but it is only because I wanted you to be honest. I wanted you to admit that you were hiding behind excuses to not be with me. I wanted you to admit that you want this as much as I do." Kristina placed her hand on Ethan's knee and he froze and stood up putting distance between them. Kristina watched him for a moment before she stood as well.

"Look, I...I am a man. You are a gorgeous girl. That's it Kristina. Whatever shred of integrity and nobility I have left would be obliterated if I take advantage of a vulnerable barely out of high-school girl." Ethan stopped pacing as Kristina stepped closer to him. She shook her head in disagreement and lifted her chin in defiance.

"You would never take advantage of me Ethan. If all you wanted was someone to spend a night with, you wouldn't choose me. You care about me and when you kissed me I knew that you wanted me too." Kristina kissed Ethan until he couldn't help but kiss her back. This kiss was different. It was intense and deep and scared Kristina. Not with the kid of fear she had felt with Kieffer but something else entirely. She had already fallen in love with Ethan before he had even kissed her and now…now she was certain she would not survive without him.

Ethan stepped back and turned away from her. Kristina faltered for a second before she walked around and forced him to face her and hold her gaze.

"Are you still going to try to deny that you want to be with me?" Kristina stared at him wide eyed needing to hear him say it out loud.

"Why don't you tell me something instead Kristina, how do you see this working out? If I were to survive long enough, how long do you think it would take before I get the urge to leave town again? Before I do a job for Johnny that proves too dangerous and I don't come back or…" Ethan paused and took a deep breath.

"I don't know Ethan. All I am asking for is a chance." Kristina replied. Ethan shook his head.

"And I am asking you to let it go." His stern tone surprised Kristina.

"I can't. I would never give up on you, just like you wouldn't give up on me." Kristina said stubbornly.

"You're so sure Kristina? Why because I would never leave town on a whim, disappear when I want? I'm not going to change." Ethan said. He walked behind the bar and poured himself a drink from the whisky bottle. Kristina watched in silence feeling unsure that anything she said would make any difference. Proceeding with caution she sat at the bar and took Ethan's hand and felt relief when he didn't pull it away.

"I would never want to change you Ethan." Kristina said softly. Ethan nodded knowing it was true.

"Be that as it may, I have my share of problems and right now the last thing I need is for Sonny to come after me. I am trying to do the right thing here Kristina. I need you to walk away because it's what's best for everyone." Ethan spoke in a low determined tone.

"I don't believe that and I know it's not what's best for me but I can't keep pushing either Ethan. When you decide that what you feel is worth fighting for I will be there but until then you don't have to worry. I will leave you alone." Kristina walked away feeling sad and empty. She missed him already.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Kristina looked up from her textbook as Maxie Jones entered Kelly's. For a split second she had expected Ethan to walk in instead, but he had avoided the place for a while and it was silly to think he would walk in now. Maxi took a seat across from Kristina and watched her with a lifted brow and a worried look.

"What?" Kristina asked. Maxie groaned and removed her navy coat placing it to rest on the chair. She wore a white strapless dress and Kristina felt a twinge of jealousy for her. She was fashionable, independent and she had Matt. It was hard to dislike Maxie though, especially after she had been nice enough to help her choose clothes and she had been nice enough to sit and chat with her during her coffee runs over the past few weeks.

"You really need to ask? I have come in for coffee these past few weeks and have seen you studying every time. Did I not teach you anything?" Maxie blurted. "I know...You're probably trying to keep your mind off a certain someone. But this is no way to spend your summer. This is just sad and I'm here to help you snap out of it. "Maxie offered.

Closing her textbook Kristina sighed. It had been a miserable couple of weeks. She had started burying herself in textbooks to escape. Without Ethan, with Michael spending most of his time with Abby and with Sam always being busy it had been impossible to avoid the fact that she was completely alone. Although almost everyone at Madison thought of her as the girl who lied about Kieffer, there were a few people who were still willing to talk to her but every time she tried spending time with them she felt more like an outsider.

"So are you going to keep sulking around Kristina or do you want my help getting Ethan?" Maxie asked. Kristina was tempted for a moment. Setting down her coffee cup she shook her head.

"Can I tell you something Maxie? "Kristina took a deep breath and stared at her white coffee mug for a moment before continuing.

"Everyone has been so busy telling me how bad Ethan would be for me that I didn't stop to think how bad _I_ would be for him." Kristina confessed. "Even if my father wasn't Sonny and no one was opposed to me and Ethan, I've started to doubt that it would work." Kristina said. Kristina wanted to tell Maxie how she had been thinking a lot lately. She wouldn't have let Kieffer beat her unless there was something wrong with her. She couldn't rely on Ethan to erase that; it wouldn't be fair to him. As much as she repeated that it wasn't her fault, the end result was the same. She had let Kieffer beat her and now he was dead. Reality had hit her. Her reality had shifted and as hard as she had tried to shift it back she hadn't been able to. The reality was she had been so desperate to be with Ethan she had been willing to take the risk that he would end up dead because of her. She was a damaged selfish person and Ethan…he was the most selfless person she knew.

"Well, if you need my help, I'm around. " Maxie stood and grabbed her coat not wanting to push Kristina.

Kristina froze as she stumbled into a heated argument at the docks. It took her a split second to make out that one of the men was Ethan but the other was a stranger. Ethan punched him hard on the jaw and the tall broad shouldered man stumbled backwards barely maintaining his balance. Before she knew what she was doing she had stepped in front of Ethan intending to stop the other man with a warning that she had called the cops, a straight out lie, but before she had the chance to speak she was knocked down as she took a hit that was intended for Ethan. Ethan took a swing that knocked the stranger out before kneeling over Kristina. "Hey...It's okay." Ethan reached out to lift her but Kristina flinched. Holding her hand to her cheek she stumbled to stand. She was shaking so hard it was difficult to breath.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." Ethan said.

"No." Kristina dictated. She wasn't going to the hospital. She would say it had been an accident and they wouldn't believe her. Not with her track record. She was going to say she was fine but she looked down. She had landed on her arm when she was knocked down and a trace of blood seeped through her white cardigan. The initial shock wore out and the sharp pain began. As she tried to take a step she gasped. Ethan stepped forward lifting her into his arms against her will.

Kristina sat on the hospital bed and laid her head back on the pillow. Sam had just left and she had promised to cover for her with everyone, letting them think that she was spending the night with her. Kristina had messaged her and had been relieved when Sam showed up and took care of the nurses and paperwork. Kristina hadn't said a word since she got to the hospital.

"Kristina..." Ethan knocked gently opening the door slightly before he entered. "How…how are you?"

Kristina looked down at her bandaged arm and nodded. "The doctor says I'm going to be fine." She replied. Her voice felt as if it wasn't her own.

"I was going to leave after I brought you here but I couldn't'." Ethan stepped closer to the bed and shook his head. "I wish you hadn't done that. What were you thinking?" his voice softened although he was trying to scold her. His voice shook.

"I wasn't thinking…" Kristina replied.

"I wish you hadn't gotten hurt." He clarified. Kristina nodded and gave him a small sad smile. "I'm sorry." Ethan stated with a soft voice.

"It wasn't your fault; you don't have to stay out of misplaced guilt Ethan." Kristina said. He sat on the bed instead of leaving. Kristina tensed a little at his closeness but relaxed as he placed his hand on her cheek and caught her gaze.

"I'm here because I want to be here." Ethan stated. He lifted his other hand and gently touched the now bruised cheek.

"Ouch!" Kristina laughed softly but caught her breath as Ethan leaned closer and kissed her bruised cheek. He leaned back but remained only a breath away. "You really care about me don't you?" his deep brown eyes met hers and she nodded. He paused for a moment before his lips gently met hers. Kristina's heart raced and stopped at the same time. He shifted slightly away with a shy grin after a bit and Kristina smiled.

"I came prepared to stay." Ethan stated pulling out a deck of cards from his navy jeans. Kristina smiled. As much as she knew she should send him away for his own good she couldn't.


	4. Chapter 4

Kristina lifted the side of her long violet off the shoulder gown and frowned as her cell beeped. _I'm at the back, just go in! _Kristina shut her cell and continued to frown. She was standing in front of Kelly's where Maxie had told her she would be. Maxie had invited Kristina to a high-fashion work event and Kristina had jumped at the chance to attend desperately needing a distraction. She was doing her best to keep her distance from Ethan but it was harder than she had imaged it would be. He had called and messaged her and she had provided curt short replies and excuses. She hadn't been able to stop herself from thinking about the kiss at the hospital but keeping Ethan safe from Sonny was more important than what she wanted.

The small café looked as if it was closed except for some dim lights. Kristina tried the door knob and opened the door. "Maxie.." Kristina had barely made out maxie's name before her breath caught in her throat as she saw Ethan standing in the middle of the room dressed in a black suit and tie. White lights had been hung around the small space and there was a pink and white banner with the words "Prom 2011" hanging at the back.

"_You_ have been avoiding me." Ethan stated. Kristina stared at him wide eyed. Ethan placed his hands in the pocket of his pants and gave the prom sign a side glance with a smirk.

"I asked Maxie for a little help. She told me you had missed your prom the night you got hurt at the docks." Ethan explained "so I thought I would try to make it up to you. I've got terrible food and cheesy eighties music on." Kristina noticed the music and laughed as she recognized the song that was playing. It was the same song Ethan had sung at Jake's the first night she'd seen him. Kristina smiled and stepped closer to a table that had been set and had little gold stars scattered all over. She touched one of them gently.

"You didn't have to do this…I didn't mind missing prom. It's a silly awkward night anyways. But…thank you." She turned to face him and couldn't stop herself from stepping closer and touching his tie. "I wouldn't pass a chance to see you in a suit." She said. Kristina's heart skipped a beat as Ethan grinned.

"I don't think it's silly. It is a rite of passage and a well deserved one at that." He replied. Ethan smiled and turned suddenly to grab something from behind the bar. Kristina watched him in slight puzzlement and smiled when she noticed the small clear box with a corsage. Taking her hand he wrapped the ribbon around her wrist. The purple and black corsage was stunning. She stared at it for a moment feeling like it..all of it wasn't real.

"This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me Ethan. Thank you." Kristina gleamed and without thinking kissed Ethan on the cheek. She paused before moving away and felt Ethan's breath against her cheek. He cleared his throat and shifted away slightly.

"You're welcome." Grabbing her hand he spun her and placed his hand on her waist. Kristina smiled and gasped as he suddenly dipped her.

"Now you're just showing off!" She teased.

After dancing a few more songs Kristina let out a deep breath.

"I did not wear the right shoes." She moved to sit at the bar and grabbed a strawberry from a small white plate not realizing she was smiling.

Ethan took a seat beside her and grinned as he watched her. She cleared her throat and shifted the small plate closer to him. Her heart beat against her chest as he stood and turned her seat towards him. He gazed down at her for a moment before taking a deep breath. Holding her face in his hands he leaned close until his lips touched hers. He kissed her and Kristina felt faint. Her heart beat so heavily against her chest she couldn't think. All she could feel was Ethan. After a moment Ethan rested his forehead against hers and grunted." Argh!" shifting back he ran a hand through his hair. He sat back down on the bar stool and loosened his tie.

"Hey…" Kristina moved to stand in front of him and rested her hands on his thighs.

"It wasn't that bad was it?" Kristina joked trying to get Ethan to talk. When he didn't reply she hit his arm playfully.

"No." Ethan confirmed. He moved his hands to rest on her waist and he grunted and pulled them back. Placing his hands on her shoulders he gently moved her away from him but Kristina moved closer instead and forced him to meet her gaze. His dark brown eyes bore into hers.

"What am I going to do with you?" he shook his head and grinned. She bit her lip and smiled. All thoughts of keeping her distance from him vanished. Ethan lifted his hand to touch her cheek and his gaze darkened.

"Think carefully before you answer Kristina. I am _really_ the kind of man you want to be with?" Ethan asked. Kristina grabbed his hand and nodded. She felt a knot in her stomach and her eyes filled with unshed tears suddenly. She wanted to tell him that he was the most selfless, kind, amazing person. Instead she nodded again. He smiled and placed his hands on her waist pulling her to him. He kissed her again.

"So…how did you enjoy your prom Miss Davis" Ethan asked and Kristina felt butterflies in her stomach as he kissed her bare shoulder.

"It was…I have never been this happy. I don't think anything could wipe this silly smile off my face." Kristina said.

"Good." Ethan said as he gave Kristina a grin.


	5. Chapter 5

Kristina jumped as she was startled from her reading by a loud noise coming from her window. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Ethan was half-way through her window. He hit his head against the window railing and groaned. He stumbled slightly to his feet and rubbed his head as Kristina smiled.

"What are you doing here?" She uncrossed her legs and shut her textbook. She went over to him and placed her hand over his head.

She jumped nervously as he placed a quick kiss on her neck. She gave Ethan a quick puzzled glance as she ran to lock her bedroom door.

" Shssh..." She sat on the bed and motioned for him to sit beside her. After taking a second look she noticed he stumbled slightly as he sat. He let out a deep breath. Kristina watched him for a moment. The moment she grabbed his hand she saw a pained look on his face and realized how upset he was. 

"I was drinking alone and feeling sorry for myself." He stated. His deep brown eyes met hers and he grinned slightly. "When I realized how badly I wanted to see you."

Kristina felt a sharp ache in her chest. She held his hand tighter and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't know how to help my brother…Luke is gone. I don't know that I can be much help either way…I feel like a bit of a mess myself." His jaw tightened as he stood and ran his hands through his hair. Kristina stood as well and placed her hand on his cheek.

"Your family is going through a really hard time. It would be a lot for anyone to handle Ethan." Kristina's breath caught in her throat as he stepped close and rested his head on her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her. Kristina closed her eyes and held him back. She wanted so badly to make everything alright for him. After a moment he cleared his throat and stepped back.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dropped in like this...I guess everything just got to me tonight, you know." He said.

"I love that you're here." Kristina smiled. She tugged at her pink cotton top self-conscious as she realized she had pulled up her hair into a bun and was standing in front of Ethan in her pink cotton top and grey sweats. He didn't seem to notice as he sat back down on the bed and lifted her textbook.

"Introduction to social psychology, sounds complicated." Ethan stated. Kristina noticed the quick clench of his jaw and the way he tensed. She sat down beside him and shrugged her shoulders.

"It's interesting." She replied. He placed his hand on her knee and shook his head.

"Don't you want a guy who'll know about this stuff? " He mumbled as he flipped through the pages avoiding her gaze. Kristina grabbed the textbook from him and dropped it to the floor. She surprised Ethan as she kissed him causing him to fall back on to the bed. He grinned and laughed softly after the kiss.

"Are you going to ask again? I might just have to hold you down like this until you're convinced." Kristina said. She moved to kiss him again but Ethan flipped himself over until his body was on top covering hers. He held her arms up for a moment and their gaze met for a split second. Kristina's smile froze as her heart stopped. She had never been this physically close to Ethan and aside from her body wanting his warmth and the butterflies in her stomach she felt a paralyzing sort of panic. She realized suddenly that Ethan was a _man_…an older man who had been with other women.

"I…" Kristina moved to sit up. Ethan cleared his throat and sat beside her.

"Are you okay? Sorry..I..I didn't mean to hold you down like that…" Ethan said.

"No…it's…I wasn't thinking about Kieffer or any of that at all…" Kristina explained. She wanted to hold his hand and hesitated instead not knowing why. It was Ethan who reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I would never push you do to anything that you weren't ready for." Ethan stated. Kristina blushed and nodded.

"I know." She smiled and fell a little more in love with him.


End file.
